The importance of being playful
So, as I mentioned in my last piece, it's possible to feel motivated to do something and yet somehow still not manage to make the leap from intention to action. This article is focuses on another aspect of our lives that might just need addressing – do you allow yourself to play?
I wrote about how taking action and just starting a task or project before you feel motivated can help you get going. Taking action can activate the brain's reward system, which is involved in motivation and learning, and sometimes we find that motivation follows once we've started.
Maybe you like the idea of this approach, you've given it a try but you still can't make the shift from intention to action? Of course there are many reasons that may get in the way of our ability to motivate ourselves, but I wonder if you have considered that it might be because you've forgotten how to play?
This is just what I noticed. I loved the idea of 'just doing it', and sometimes it would work like a dream and I would feel great, but I was still struggling with an internal feeling of heaviness; a sense of resistance I couldn't understand and felt powerless to act against.
The bored inner child
That is until the voice of a very bored, frustrated and lonely part of me finally spoke up during my therapy sessions. She was angry that she hadn't been given the chance to be playful for such a long time. She cried and protested at the unfairness of it all!
You see, life had become rather serious with many of the typical challenges adult life can throw at us, and following a particularly challenging year, I was really struggling to find my 'mojo'. I realised that I had withdrawn from social activities and friendships, and was not being actively creative like I had been in the past.
When my therapist asked me what she (this frustrated inner child part of me) needed, I knew her answer was 'to play!'. I left the session feeling lighter, more optimistic and with ideas of how I could make room for my inner child's needs.
What's all this go to do with motivation?
Having made this connection, I was curious to learn more – the word 'play' felt like a key, and I found a book in my collection that I had not yet read, called 'Play, How it shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul' by Stuart Brown (2009). The title alone reassured me that I was barking up the right tree!
The book began with case studies of busy, burned out people who had forgotten how to have fun. In looking back to their childhoods and remembering what they used to enjoy and how they once played, these people reintroduced hobbies and sports that ended up having an incredibly positive effect on the rest of their lives – a way of correcting the balance, perhaps.
Brown explains why play is so important for many creatures, especially social animals like ourselves: it shapes our brains, makes us smarter, more resilient, more socially attuned and adaptable. And humans play throughout our lives – it is one of the things that has made us so successful and incredibly creative as a species.
Brown asserts that play is critical to us being happy and innovative and that the effects of a little play can spread through our life in positive ways.
What is play?
Let's look a little bit closer at what play actually is and how we can start to rediscover our playful selves:
“Play is a state of mind, rather than an activity..... [it is] an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness and sense of time. It is also self-motivating and makes you want to do it again.” (Brown, 2009)
For some of us, it may have been a very long time since we last played and we're not even sure what that might look like. Here are some questions you can ask yourself about activities you might think of as play:
Am I absorbed in the activity, becoming less aware of time or of how I appear to others?
Would I want to do this if I didn't need to achieve anything or get better at it?
Does the activity bring me enjoyment simply for its own sake?
Am I doing it because I genuinely want to, rather than because I feel I should?
When I imagine doing it, do I feel curious or excited to begin?
When I've finished, am I left wanting to do it again?
If your answer is yes to some or all of these, then you're probably onto something.
Play archetypes
As mentioned earlier, looking back at how we used to enjoy play as children, can be a helpful guide as to what kind of play we might enjoy now. Brown talks about eight different play personality types – take a look at the below list and see if you can see yourself reflected in one or more of these types of ‘player’. It can help you get clues to the sorts of activities you might like to try or re-engage with.
The Joker – you like practical jokes, making people laugh, being silly.
The Kinesthete – you are the kind of person who are happiest when you are moving your body.
The Explorer – this can be mental (curiosity/learning, discovering new things) or physical – travel, going to new places
The Competitor – competitors enjoy games with rules – solitary or social games
The Director – these are born organisers who love planning events, parties and excursions
The Collector – you may collect objects or experiences. You could be a birdwatcher, stormchaser or fossil collector.
The Artist/Creator – you fun comes from making and creating things
The Storyteller – Imagination, performance, holding audiences rapt, you can bring play into almost any activity.
So reader, I played!
The weekend after my therapy session, I planned a playful day out with my husband. In terms of those archetypes, I know he is The Competitor and enjoys games, so we played mini-golf first. I am an Explorer and we are both Creatives, so we walked around a new town for us and challenged each other to take imaginative photos as we went. Here are some of the pictures. We both had fun and I felt the positive effect on me through the rest of the following week.
Blue Doll's Eye Rusty Fence and flowers Large Anchor Moss Giant tyres Laughing fish Dogs Prizewinner Blue hut blue sky
JUST DO IT
It can be so easy to let play/fun slip down the list of priorities in life, especially when we are so stretched and busy. So if you are struggling, feeling low and unmotivated, it might be worth checking in with yourself and asking what you plans you might have to do something that takes you out of the daily routine. Something to look forward to, to give yourself permission to mess about and be yourself.
It might be time for some serious fun!
Source: Brown, S. L. and Vaughan, C. (2009) Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. New York: Avery.
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